Poems I wrote ages ago

Ever Flowing

Time flows as water
A slow stream, a fast river
but ever flowing

My past cannot be
grasped once more in my two hands
just as the water

Slipping through the gap
the water passes me by
Fading memory

Precious fleeting time
Remember my dearest friends
your joys and sorrows

Time flows as water
a slow stream, a fast river
but ever flowing

Free

Darkness closes upon me as tears cloud my eyes
All hope I once had away from me flies
Does no one see my pain?
Does no one hear my cries?

The tombs are filled with friends and family
Some have only emptiness, others hostility
There is no laughter in this cold place
Is there One to whome we can take our pleas?

Fear and doubt take my sight
So that I cannot walk in this night
Bound tightly by my chains, I am trapped
Without one to free me from my plight

A voice of beauty calls to me as I give up my fight
Who is this One clothed in holy light?
He says, "Come to me all who are weary,
My yolk is easy and My burden light."

My heart quails. I long to flee
As cold as darkness is, it hides my iniquity.
I sob, "Lord, I've done so much wrong!"
"My child," He says as He releases me,

"I died so that you can be free."


-untitled-

How long do we bear our wounds
never letting others see our pains?
We bury them, hide them, ignore them
hoping that no one sees our weakness.

Days, weeks, months, even years pass,
and we think the pain is over and gone.
A cutting word, a passing joke, a cruel prank
and the pain crushes us once more

even darker than before

We think that it's better to disguise our fear
from the gaze of others' eyes,
But deep in our souls we desperately need
a friend to help bear the ever-growing burden

The wounds deepen
leaving scars on our souls
Never healing, only growing
Until we break and fall apart

yet no one knows

Except for the One
who knows our every pain,
every scar, every sorrow
and cries along with us.

He longs for us to reach out to Him
to comfort us, give us strength
To take the heavy burden from our shoulders

And place it on His own.

Strange Strange Dream

So last night I dreamed that I was riding in a bus across the countryside with a bunch of other people. I had the feeling that we were on the run from someone. We stopped overnight on a hill, and when we woke up in the morning and looked over the hill, and spotted a sort of food shop (in the middle of nowhere. Yeah.) So the whole group of us walked down there to eat and stock up on food for the continued journey.

Then the dream shifted into a castle. All of us were...slaves to powerful rich people. I don't know if this was taking place before running away on a bus or if we had been captured. Two giant muscle-bound men dragged me into one room and attempted to chain me to a table on the orders of my master (you can guess what for), but I somehow managed to escape them.

I was running through the hallways and staircases, gathering the other slaves and getting them to escape. The ones who called themselves our masters were gathered in a stadium for some major event, so we only had to avoid their lackeys in our dash for freedom.

I know this was a short dream, but it was unique.

Yet another strange dream.

So, this dream is almost set up like a strategy game campain. There are two countries very close to each other with a small mountain between them. On one side, there is a warrior clan, living in simple huts on the dry earth. They are a fierce people, well versed in the arts of combat with all sorts of weapons, and more than willing to use them. Their most impressive weapon is what looks like a giant rolling log covered in spikes, but it fires arrows at the enemy and in close range can also act as a flame-thrower.

On the other side of the mountain, the other country has their castle set up on an island in the middle of a wide lake. A land bridge connects the island to the shore. (I guess that makes it not an island, but I don't know how to describe it.) These are passive people, spending much of their time mastering the arts of magic and sorcery and learning how to control fantastic magical beasts. Their ultimate defense sleeps in a cave deep beneath the waters of the lake, a montrous water serpent.

In this dream, two battles were fought between these two peoples. Both times, the warrior clan attacked the castle, the first time nearly conquering the sorcerors with their ferocity. I was in the middle of this battle, fighting alongside the magic-users. By the skin of our teeth we pushed the warriors back through the mountain tunnel to their homeland. The second time the warriors made their appearance, we were ready.

Most of us stationed ourselves in the castle, high above the battle below, casting bolts of lightning and fireballs down onto the warriors. Others were hidden around the attacking army harassing the warriors. Then the warriors brought out their rolling arrow-shooting, flame-throwing machine.

After some struggle, we managed to get their rolling monstrosity off of the land bridge and into the lake water. Then I called, "Summon the Water Demon!"

The Serpent awoke from it's slumber, broke the surface of the lake, and slaughtered the enemy left and right. The warriors ran back through the tunnel to their kingdom, but we gave chase, summoning terrifying skeleton soldiers and slinging more lighting and fire at the enemy.

From there, I assume we won the battle, but about that time I woke up.

AAAAAAAGH!!!!!

I am getting a new job. I just can't stand working for my friend anymore. I feel used, led on, and at times worried for my safety. I've only been called to work twice, and the reason for this is because I need rides from my friend to get to the job site. He knew I didn't have a car when he hired me.

So right now, I'm angry, frustrated, upset, and wanting to exact my wrath on my employer/friend. Perhaps we can remain friends, but I certainly cannot work for him.

Back to the Crazy Dreams. This one was kind of frightening

Had another strange dream last night.

I dreamed that I went back to Indiana for medical reasons and I could only get the treatment I needed back there. I went into my high school (except it was huge, and like a mall), and saw my old classmate Jason dash by. (I had a serious crush on him for two years.) He saw me, backpedaled, gave me a hug, and asked how I was doing. Then he said that he couldn't stay long because there was a burglary in progress. I guess he was acting as security? Then I ran with him down some stairs, getting his phone number along the way so that I could keep in touch with him after I left Indiana.

Then later in my dream, I was in a hospital bed, sleeping with my back to the open door. There was a mirror in front of me, so I could see a circle of desks outside and the people sitting and working at them. I was starting to wake up, and I was watching the people in the mirror, and the guy at the desk facing me was...staring at me. The look in his eyes and the creepy smile on his face gave me chills. I think he could tell I was watching his reflection, because he started drawing pictures on a clear glass panel standing upright on his desk. Pictures...basically of him raping me.

I was terrified, but after a little bit, I got up and went outisde to the desks to confront him or find his superiors, something to get him to stop. He had disappeared, but the pictures remained, so I asked the other people working at the desks who sat there. They just looked at me with wide frightened eyes and didn't say anything, so I told them to report him, because I certainly was terrified of whoever that man was.

The dream shifted again to me back in the hospital bed, and lots of people were gathered around me. I felt so weak, and couldn't move much at all. Then my vision became fuzzy, and I woke up in reality.