If there is one thing that I absolutely hate about myself, it's how quickly my emotions can change.
Another thing, I hate crying.
I hate that I hate crying. It doesn't make sense!
The only reasons I can think of are that I feel weak when I start crying, and ashamed, and because those do not make sense, I get angry.
And then the hate grows deeper because I am so angry at myself.
Wonderful, isn't it?
What makes all this even worse is that it's SO hard for me to talk to anyone when I really should. I don't mean just typing it out, like chatting to people online. That's something completely different. They can't see you crying then. I mean talking face to face and actually letting loose with the tears, and letting them hug and hold you when you're shaking from how hard you're sobbing.
I don't know why it's so difficult...I really want for someone to be there. I know I need someone there besides me, myself, and I (especially since all three of us are worthless at comforting each other), but I just...can't...
*hugs* I wish I could be more helpful.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can say is that perhaps it's best to just cry yourself out before you try to talk?
The only problem with that is once I'm cried out I don't really feel the need to talk anymore. The problems remain, but I don't feel pressured to seek help.
ReplyDeleteHrm. That's problematic. Try explaining them anyway, even if it feels lame?
ReplyDelete